My Blog's First Award

No, I didn't win one. I'm giving one. I've noticed that blogs give awards sometimes, as do columnists and other people with too much time on their hand and an inflated sense of their opinion's value to society. Well, I'm in Harrisburg (former? check) and I've had and overheard one too many conversations with people in the hotel bar (latter? check)...and since I have a blog, I fit the bill.

This award goes to Artemis, a new character in my list of anonymous friends, many of whom are not imaginary. Artemis is a dear friend of mine from middle and high school. I'd say she's like a sister to me, but we don't talk or see each other enough for that, so she's kind of like that weird quirky cousin you don't know what to make of but always look forward to seeing at weddings and bar mitzvahs.

And since she is the first recipient of this award, which, by the way, will be awarded whenever I feel like it, the award shall thusly be named for her, in recognition of her surpassing extremism in the attribute her namesake web-award recognizes. In this case, the Artemisy shall be awarded for great and entertaining hypocrisy. I shall now present the award:

The winner of this first Artemisy is a high school history teacher, more a case of destiny than choice as this didactic heroine has been propelled by twin forces of fate, her 8th Grade History Prize and her aspirations for a small and manageable position as a minor dictator.

The following two sentences were typed to me by this winner a scant 54 seconds apart, when lamenting her inevitable departure for greener pastures. And by greener I mean full of grading papers of what I gathered must be less than interesting prose:
"High school kids need to right more interesting essays."
And then less than a minute later:
"I take off for spelling."

The winner of this week's/month's/year's/decade's Artemisy Award is...

The eponymous Artemis! Congratulations, mazal tov, and welcome to the blog. I hope this writing was interesting enough for you (I threw in a few big words just for your enjoyment). Enjoy the papers.