So how about that local sports team?

It was nice being able to scream as loud as I wanted while walking down the streets last night. I can't do that anymore. I also liked being able to high-five anyone I wanted, whenever I wanted, and have them be perfectly OK with that (hugs too, though under ever so slightly more limited circumstances). Sports bring people together.

Also, DeluxX's Facebook account got hacked by some woman named Patricia who has taken over his page for some reason. That said, the history is still up with only minor editing. I especially like this status message from October 10th: "Patricia has the apt to himself this weekend and can finally watch gay porn without all those judgemental eyes." I wonder which one of them spelled judgmental wrong.

My Championship

Words fail me.

The curse is broken (beating the next leading curse by 14 seasons).

I can't describe what this means for Philadelphia. I was just at City Hall, on South Broad Street, at the Ben Franklin Parkway, where group hugs are starting at 3 and growing into the thousands, if not tens of thousands. In a city ravaged by crime, hit with working-class job losses and budgetary nightmares, in a city which, after 100 consecutive losing major sports seasons, has come to expect losses, in the City of Brotherly Love in which racial and socioeconomic tensions threaten to tear neighborhoods apart, in a city held together by threads, from Eagles fandom to inspired mayors, in a city that went from being the nation's political capitol to the world's industrial capitol, to a drifting former flagship from a different time looking for its place in the fabric of urban America, in a city both simultaneously great and teetering on the brink, in this city are the World Series Champions, the best, the winners, the conquerers in a sport that has the distinction of being our national pastime.

Tonight I have a hundred thousand brothers, a hundred thousand sisters, with open arms all over the city. Tonight will see hundreds of thousands of Philadelphians connecting to others in their neighborhoods, hugging strangers, and celebrating that which we have in common instead of fearing our differences. Tonight we all have unconditional acceptance and open invitations. Tonight has the power to bestow renewed feelings of camraderie, a renewed sense of civic pride, and renewed brotherly love.

And tomorrow we'll wake up in a better Philadelphia, one which had the experience of coming together for a common cause, however manufactured by man; cheering on our representatives, the Philadelphia Phillies; and celebrating together, as World Champions.

My Harrisburg Halloween?

So apparently in Harrisburg they do Halloween on the Thursday before actual Halloween. All the kids are going trick-or-treating on Thursday, the 30th. This just seems wrong. I don't mean to be a snob, but I think if I tried just a little, I could become personally offended by this quaint central Pennsylvanian custom. My question is: if you're going to standardize it to a day, why not standardize it on a non-school night?

Someone told me the rationale is that on Fridays, Saturdays, and Halloween, there are too many drunks out. I think anyone spending more than a few days in Harrisburg can debunk that. It's not exactly a party town. You need a car to get anywhere except in the immediate downtown area, and that area is dead at night. You don't exactly have drunken masses out walking, or rather, stumbling, the streets at night. I wonder how this got started, and why it persists. Luckily for me, I'll be in Philly for MY holiday tradition of eating authentic Szechuan cuisine with at least one of my families.

"I'm a hockey mom...soon to be an illegitimate hockey grandmom." -Lisa Ann, portrayer of "Sarah Paylin" in the new hit porno movie "Who's Nailin' Paylin."

The journalist/blogger in me is urging me to provide some links and more information...but I think I'd rather not.

That said, from what I gather, in filming this movie, Ms. Ann accumulated more experience than the real Vice Presidential nominee in foreign relations (wait for it...).

Finally, I think it's great that she not only studied the real Sarah Palin in preparing for her role, but also Tina Fey to learn how to excellently impersonate Mrs. Palin.

My Mad Cow Test

The Bush White House has taken a lot of heat, among other things, for supporting and enforcing (and perhaps making) a decision to NOT ALLOW ranchers to test their cattle for mad cow disease. I was among the critics, but tonight, for some reason, I rethought my position. It took me a while, mostly because I was presented with lots of arguments against the decision and had to come up with my own in favor of it. On top of that, I'm naturally suspicious of the most evil White House administration of my life; they have a well-earned reputation for incompetence; and it seems like such a bad idea.

Why not allow ranchers to test their cattle? For starters, it's a free country. You shouldn't need a reason NOT to ban something; you should need a very good reason TO ban something. Especially if you're a Republican. Secondly, it only promotes public health and confidence in our beef. If there's nothing to fear, why ban the tests? Finally, it's hurting us economically! Some countries won't accept imports unless we increase our testing, and if the government won't do it, why not let ranchers do so for a profit? Why not let them be responsible businessmen and grow our nation's economy?

I think I've figured out the logic, the reason for the ban. It seems so un-American, so anti-business, so anti-public that it's hard to believe Americans support it, much less a staunchly conservative Republican administration. But then something Lord Henry told me recently helped me connect the dots. He said, cynically, that a true conservative believes that humans are inferior creatures. An idealistic liberal believes in the best of humanity, while the very conservative stewards seek to limit the damage we can cause by the worst within us. And then it hit me.

Our leaders don't want to stand in our way of being responsible, upstanding businessmen. But they do have a valid concern that ranchers are NOT responsible, competent scientists, publicists, or macroeconomic thinkers. And they'd have to be to be giving mad cow tests. Think what would happen with one false positive. Or even a "presumptive positive" (which means "maybe, it'll take a few days to know for sure"). What if one rancher screws up the test, or uses a cheap testing kit, or a testing kit actually fails (even with a low false positive rate, if everyone's testing, we'll wind up with a few)? Mass hysteria. Widespread panic. Beef pulled off the shelves. Suspicions of a coverup. An entire generation of ranchers lose their livelihood. Restaurants shut down all across America. McDonald's makes Morgan Stanley look like a bulwark of stability. A low probability event crushes the beef market, and we see an entire industry disappear in a way that would make even one of today's bankers go white. A national food crisis, fueling a global food crisis, has us thinking of the 2008 floods and inflation and shortages and credit crunch as the "good old days."

It's a policy that thwarts modest improvements to stave off, to quote Tim Curry as King Arthur, "a total bloody disaster."

Rick Blaine and I got to see Henry Kissinger and Robert Rubin talk tonight. I thought it wasn't fair the focus was on foreign policy without much about economics, but both former Secretaries were quite insightful (Kissinger a little more so given the field of discussion). I thought it admirable that with an election coming up, both men emphasized the need for nuance and the complexity of situations. There were no 10-word-answers, no campaign slogans, no X-point plans. There was an honest and frank discussion about the increasingly interconnected nature of the world, and the inability to isolate global problems into silos the way we do in campaigns. They both stressed our need for engagement, investment, and a full-picture view of global issues. Their conversation covered the necessity and importance of diplomacy, the impact investment in our nation (and lack thereof) could have, America's "moral authority," trade policy, and comprehensive approaches for everything from education (domestic and abroad) to foreign aid and providing proper incentives for other countries without letting innocents suffer. Sometimes they debated, other times they clarified and elaborated on each others' points. It was refreshing to see such an intellectual and high level policy discussion where the merits of an argument outweighed politics. I really admire both public servants more now than I did before the evening began.

I was also excited to see Mayor Michael Nutter and Governor Ed Rendell speak before and after the keynote 2-person panel. Mayor Nutter spoke about cities' struggles through the current economic crisis, while Rendell passionately made the case for investment in infrastructure and education (both for early childhood and secondary education in math and science).

All in all, a very inspiring and intellectually stimulating night, and even worth missing the start of the Phillies' first World Series game in 15 years. Here's hoping this one ends differently. It would be nice if the first sports team in North America to 10,000 losses would also be the one to snap Philadelphia's streak of 100 consecutive professional sports seasons without a major championship.

I'm back, and jetlagged. In the absence of my ability to be original and creative, I'm posting a link to a really short, beautiful online game which will take my place for the moment when it comes to making you think. I know it made me think when I first encountered it. I give it nine thumbs up.

Growcube.

Sorry I haven't posted lately, I've been busy. A few notes about San Fran:

-There are more Subways here than there are Starbucks in any other place I've ever been. There are plenty of Starbucks too. My boss told me there are more Subways than any other fast food restaurant on the planet, including McDonald's. Is that true?
-The city grid here could be a little more grid-like. I miss my Philly grid.
-The weather is fantastic.
-This city is expensive.
-I got told today that I know a lot about vegetables. I suppose that's better than eating a lot of vegetables.
-Seafood's good. So is the ethnic food. You'd have a hard time paying me to set foot in the cheesesteak place I passed.
-It's good to see old friends.

I'm in San Francisco for the week, on business. I was going to post a well-written personal essay about my trip out here and my first day, but then Lord Henry called and I still have half a post. Maybe I'll finish it some day. Anyway, San Fran is a nice place; it's one of the few cities I could see myself living. And it's great to see Lord Henry again.

I thought people might be interested in this tax calculator, in which you input some basic information and it spits out an estimate of what would happen to your tax bill under the Obama-Biden plan (and if you'd be getting a cut, compares it to the cut you'd get under McCain's plan). They don't tell you how much better McCain would be if you make over 250,000 dollars a year, but that's because it's on the barackobama.com site. Despite the bias in what gets reported, the numbers seem fairly accurate (good ballparks) to me based on what I know about both tax plans.

Courtesy of an elementary school classmate via Facebook's new StalkerPro 2.0 (or whatever they're calling it now), I present a short video said to explain everything you need to know about Sarah Palin in 4 minutes and 34 seconds. I'm not sure it's everything, but it's definitely a good primer.

My Murals

I've always been a big fan of Philadelphia's Mural Arts Program. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, the Mural Arts Program is a city-wide non-profit project which matches artists and small Philly communities, and together they create a meaningful mural. Enlisting the help of people in neighborhood of all ages, the Mural Arts Program has produced over 2,800 murals all over the city, often with a special meaning to the community that helped paint it (murals depicting neighborhood heroes, for example).

The Mural Arts Program has inspired Philadelphians and visitors, brought communities together, helped overcome racial divides and tensions, given "at-risk youth" and lifelong residents alike a renewed sense of neighborhood pride and connection to a community, and become a national model and a local treasure. That plus a dramatic reduction in graffiti and ongoing art education programs for almost 2,000 at-risk youth.

Recently the New York Times published a story about the project, which one night was even the top front-page headline on their website. I can't think of a more deserving human interest story to spotlight, and I wanted to share it with my readers.

In a broader context, I think the Mural Arts Program is important because it highlights the extraordinary impact local communities and civic pride have on the urban landscape, which is, unfortunately, deteriorating all across America. Problems can't just be solved at the top. The best kind of city leadership is the kind that inspires the citizenry to take action themselves, as happened in Philadelphia under Ed Rendell and is happening again under Michael Nutter. You can't hire a fixer for a city in any election, but the residents themselves can "take back the streets" and reclaim a city. The Mural Arts Program is a wonderful archetype of how to turn weaknesses into strengths, occupants into citizens, urban blight and graffiti into hope and art.

So I was wondering...what would people think about a debate between aspiring First Ladies?

Also, this comes courtesy of Lilly. If I saw one of these, I'd definitely believe that change was coming.

Finally, back to the Jew-theme, I wish an easy fast to those of you atoning out there. Also, the Colbert Report stole my "brethren and sistren" joke almost verbatim when talking about the Jewish High Holidays. Dear Colbert Writer, I'm on to you.

My Response to McCain's Attacks

I understand.

People are criticizing McCain's decision (or his approval of his strategists' decision) to turn the campaign full-tilt negative. They say it's not what the country needs or wants; it will alienate voters; it's the wrong tone given the times; it won't help the country with the current mess, and it might hurt, regardless of who wins. They're right.

But they're also wrong. From a strategic point of view, McCain has to go negative. Here's why: For the first time in the campaign, a candidate is polling above 50% with some consistency. And that candidate is Barack Obama (Gallup has him above 50%, as do Rasmussen and CNN). This means it's no longer enough to win undecideds. If every undecided broke for McCain, he still might lose. They need to bring people over from the Obama camp. And they can't do it just by making McCain look good; the economic situation has seen to that. They have to introduce negatives about Obama, worries about him, to counter the various reasons (mostly economic I suspect) people will cite as cause for their recent decision to vote for him.

It's a logical tactical decision, but very conventional (perhaps not what is needed). Once someone has made up their mind, especially after delaying doing so for so long, you can't just be better, the other guy has to be worse. So McCain needs to pin his hopes on fear and aversion, the notion that Obama is too risky a choice. So we get attack ads and scare tactics, a last ditch attempt to coerce an electorate that is in the process of making up its mind. More than ever in my lifetime, America wants a change, and McCain is out of new ideas--for the campaign, and for the country.

My Blog's First Award

No, I didn't win one. I'm giving one. I've noticed that blogs give awards sometimes, as do columnists and other people with too much time on their hand and an inflated sense of their opinion's value to society. Well, I'm in Harrisburg (former? check) and I've had and overheard one too many conversations with people in the hotel bar (latter? check)...and since I have a blog, I fit the bill.

This award goes to Artemis, a new character in my list of anonymous friends, many of whom are not imaginary. Artemis is a dear friend of mine from middle and high school. I'd say she's like a sister to me, but we don't talk or see each other enough for that, so she's kind of like that weird quirky cousin you don't know what to make of but always look forward to seeing at weddings and bar mitzvahs.

And since she is the first recipient of this award, which, by the way, will be awarded whenever I feel like it, the award shall thusly be named for her, in recognition of her surpassing extremism in the attribute her namesake web-award recognizes. In this case, the Artemisy shall be awarded for great and entertaining hypocrisy. I shall now present the award:

The winner of this first Artemisy is a high school history teacher, more a case of destiny than choice as this didactic heroine has been propelled by twin forces of fate, her 8th Grade History Prize and her aspirations for a small and manageable position as a minor dictator.

The following two sentences were typed to me by this winner a scant 54 seconds apart, when lamenting her inevitable departure for greener pastures. And by greener I mean full of grading papers of what I gathered must be less than interesting prose:
"High school kids need to right more interesting essays."
And then less than a minute later:
"I take off for spelling."

The winner of this week's/month's/year's/decade's Artemisy Award is...

The eponymous Artemis! Congratulations, mazal tov, and welcome to the blog. I hope this writing was interesting enough for you (I threw in a few big words just for your enjoyment). Enjoy the papers.

My Fellow (sort of) Blogger

I just found out that McCain's 23-year old daughter has a blog about the campaign. I checked it out. Three things jumped out at me, all of which are probably connected. (1) Her blog is much more popular than mine; (2) she's much more attractive than I am; and (3) after 15 minutes of searching I couldn't find ANYTHING of substance on the entire blog. No opinions, no analysis, nothing but photo ops, letters, and anecdotes. If you took out the photos and blurred out the names, you wouldn't even be able to tell which candidate she supports. But I guess when you're that cute, you don't need to know or say anything to get people to vote for your dad.

That said, from a political perspective, the campaign seems to be using her well. I'm just glad I'm not in that position. I don't think I'd be able to take a nation-wide tour of grip-and-grin without saying anything other than canned sound bites, and without saying what I think and trying to convince people, change minds, and make my case.

That said, Meghan and I are both socially liberal (according to the Philadelphia Inquirer, I couldn't figure that out from the blog) but otherwise conservative political bloggers of the same age...I wonder if she'd go out with me. I am from one of the three most important swing states.

[If anyone is up for a contest among readers, try to find her most substantive post and post a link in the comments...you can find her blog at www.mccainblogette.com.]

Sarah Palin winked at me. Twice. During the debate.

Words fail me.

Some loose ends I've been meaning to post:

I know at least a few of my readers will enjoy this comic. Especially if you have some historical awareness.

For the Mac users.

For people who remember playing Worms. Like all those nights we should have been studying for exams instead.

Also, I don't know how to broach this topic sensitively, but let me say that the following observation is the result of pure capitalism. I was driving through North Philly this week, and it jumped out at me that the area has a LOT more fried chicken distributors (KFC, Church's, Crown, etc.) per square foot of real estate than anywhere I've ever spent a lot of time. What's up with that?

Finally, a belated Happy New Year to my Chosen Readers.