My National Pickup Line Contest

So a while back, I saw a banner ad for a pickup line contest. Remington, a company that makes things like electric razors, was running a national contest to see who could come up with the best and worst pickup lines (translation: most likely to work and funniest). I clicked on the ad, hoping to get a few laughs out of it (it was judged by anyone logging on and voting).

Most of them were pretty unfunny, so I--being the suave urban sophisticate and pickup artist that I am--submitted a few of my own unbelievably nerdy ones. Fully aware this was primarily promotional, I used my junk e-mail address to avoid corporate spam. I soon forgot about the contest.

Last week as I was performing my monthly check of my junk e-mail account, and lo and behold! I get an e-mail notifying me that I WON. The top and bottom 5 lines got prizes, and I was solidly in that latter group. My submission was deemed by the Internet community to be among the funniest and most desperately hopeless attempts to seduce women.

I had missed the deadline for responding to get my prizes, but the woman there said she'd try to get them to me anyway, as they were running behind schedule themselves. So I hurriedly faxed in my form, and now I'm waiting to get my free electric razor and my 10 t-shirts that say:

"I wish you were cos(x) and I were sin(x), so I could always fill the area under your curves."

Awesome.

PS - The woman I talked to loved the line and wanted to know if it had any success...and later admitted to having formed that opinion after requiring a colleague to explain it to her.

PPS - If you don't get the line, put down your Art History/Anthropology/Communications reading (or whatever phony major you chose) and go ask someone with skills.

PPPS - I have Cynara's permission to go out to bars and see if these shirts work. Anyone wanna come? Or know any nerdy bars where all the hotties know calculus?

PPPPS - I hate it when people add multiple postscripts by adding an extra "S" each time. It's Postscript and Post-Postscript, etc. Post means "after." After the script, after the script after the script, and so on and so forth. Post Script Script doesn't make any sense. If you're a PS, PSS, PSSS person, consider yourself officially "ON NOTICE."