I haven't posted in a while, so apologies to my avid readers (yeah yeah, both of you). I've doing research in my hiatus from blogging.
The first kind of research was for my math modeling applications in finance class. To complete my investigation, I built an Excel model so complicated that takes 26 seconds just to calculate the cell values (no macros--I had to turn automatic calculations off). Anyway, now I'm done with that--no more graded work for the class. Huzzah!
The second kind of research that kept me from blogging was research on my next blog topic. Stay tuned for an interesting bit of science journalism in a future post.
And while we're on the subject of research, congratulations to Cynara on finishing her thesis! Two years of research culminated in an all-nighter followed by 6 hours of printing this past Thursday/Friday--the end product being a 120 page book on an esoteric niche of Ming dynasty cultural history. My contribution was staying up with her and providing entertainment in the form of movies and hilarious suggestions for chapter titles. I know my limitations.
Anyway, since I didn't have anything funny, here's another joke from my Finance professor, who is fast becoming a minor personal hero of mine, because really hates investment bankers:
Why do Scientists prefer to experiment on Investment Bankers instead of the usual white rats?
1) There are more investment bankers
2) No one ever gets attached to an investment banker
3) There are some things even white rats won't do
#2 is my favorite. Sorry, Dad.
[Editor's Addendum: I think #2 would be funnier as "The scientists kept getting attached to the white rats" - thoughts?]
Monday, March 26, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
My New Mailbox
mailboxes.jpg
Take a look at the future. The United States Postal Service is helping celebrate the 30th Anniversary of Star Wars with these new R2-D2 mailboxes. Don't believe the rumors, and the confirmation by TheForce.net, the preeminent online Star Wars news source? Take a look at the trailer for this fast approaching campaign: http://www.uspsjedimaster.com/teaser/form.html
And if you don't believe that, just go to the US Postal Service's official website and watch Artoo roll around the screen.
R2-D2 is the perfect mascot for the United States Postal Service. He delivered the Death Star plans, against incredible odds, and did so in time to save the Rebellion. No greater courier exists in reality or mythology. It's a perfect partnership, and a way for the struggling USPS to attract some publicity, especially among a younger, cooler and retail-level audience. A good business decision on their part to be sure--and on the part of Star Wars? Well, that's just awesome (and also good publicity, and a way to keep the franchise the public consciousness even after the movies are all done). It's a great partnership, resulting in some awesome mailboxes and maybe some other stuff.
On a completely unrelated note, an African leader is claiming to have a cure for AIDS, which came to him in a dream (via his ancestors of course). Maybe dating Cynara is tempering my constant skepticism, or maybe it's just the scale of the potential rewards, but I'm actually hoping this works. I don't think it's a cure (or for that matter anything at all), but what if it helps combat the virus, even in some small way? I'm hoping there's something here, even though there's virtually no chance this 7-herb/spice concoction will live up to its creator's claims. Still...wouldn't it be great if it does? My main worry, however, is the same as everyone else's: he's giving people false hope. His reluctance to let people examine the concoction is a little troublesome...hopefully the scientific community will rush to debunk the wild claims and determine what--if any--uses this syrupy serum has.
Take a look at the future. The United States Postal Service is helping celebrate the 30th Anniversary of Star Wars with these new R2-D2 mailboxes. Don't believe the rumors, and the confirmation by TheForce.net, the preeminent online Star Wars news source? Take a look at the trailer for this fast approaching campaign: http://www.uspsjedimaster.com/teaser/form.html
And if you don't believe that, just go to the US Postal Service's official website and watch Artoo roll around the screen.
R2-D2 is the perfect mascot for the United States Postal Service. He delivered the Death Star plans, against incredible odds, and did so in time to save the Rebellion. No greater courier exists in reality or mythology. It's a perfect partnership, and a way for the struggling USPS to attract some publicity, especially among a younger, cooler and retail-level audience. A good business decision on their part to be sure--and on the part of Star Wars? Well, that's just awesome (and also good publicity, and a way to keep the franchise the public consciousness even after the movies are all done). It's a great partnership, resulting in some awesome mailboxes and maybe some other stuff.
On a completely unrelated note, an African leader is claiming to have a cure for AIDS, which came to him in a dream (via his ancestors of course). Maybe dating Cynara is tempering my constant skepticism, or maybe it's just the scale of the potential rewards, but I'm actually hoping this works. I don't think it's a cure (or for that matter anything at all), but what if it helps combat the virus, even in some small way? I'm hoping there's something here, even though there's virtually no chance this 7-herb/spice concoction will live up to its creator's claims. Still...wouldn't it be great if it does? My main worry, however, is the same as everyone else's: he's giving people false hope. His reluctance to let people examine the concoction is a little troublesome...hopefully the scientific community will rush to debunk the wild claims and determine what--if any--uses this syrupy serum has.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
My Pi Day
Happy Pi Day!
What a great day Pi Day is, especially this one. The weather was kind enough to provide a beautiful day, one suitable for t-shirts, allowing me to wear one of my pi shirts (I chose the blue one, with the pi made of 4,000+ digits, a gift from Lilly). In addition to it being gorgeous outside, I also got to enjoy Half-Priced Burger Wednesday. March 14th TOTALLY trumps February 14th. We just should move Valentine's Day to Pi Day and admit it. Besides, as the saying goes "Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important."
A note to my readers: many of you are without names. It's hard to tell stories about you when you don't have an appropriate pseudonym. Though I would like to publicly congratulate my wonderful summer roommate (maybe I'll call her "First Tigress" to put the pressure on a certain someone...) on getting an absolutely amazing job. I knew she would get it, but it's nice to see her so happy now that she knows too. I wuv her, with an Earth W.
*** You can stop reading here ***
*** Below is just a stupid joke ***
My finance professor likes to tell jokes in class. When I write non-funny blogs, I think I might start putting in some of his jokes. If they're even worse than I think they are, let me know and I'll stop. Here's one he told about himself:
As a prestigious finance professor, he gets asked to participate in all sorts of things, and one thing he really wanted to do was be on the board of a new research institute. So when asked, he jumped at the chance, but had to interview with the Director, because several other prestigious finance professors wanted to do it too (and they wanted diversity). So in the interview, things were going well, and randomly, very quickly, the interviewer asked, "What's 3 times 7?" My professor said "22" and kept going with the interview. He realized it was a mistake soon after blurting out the wrong answer, but the interviewer didn't seem to mind and just kept taking notes as he listened to answers to more important questions.
My professor went home and told his wife he blew the interview by missing a stupid question and oh well. He didn't think much of it, but later got a call asking him to accept the position. He of course did. At the grand opening reception that was held for all the people involved, my professor saw the man he interviewed with and decided to ask him about the botched question. He asked, "Do you remember my interview?"
"Yes, of course."
"Do you remember asking me what 3 times 7 is?"
"Yes, we asked everybody that question."
"Do you remember my answer?"
"Yes, in fact, I wrote it down."
"Well...not to sound ungrateful, but how did I get this job?"
To which the Director replied, "Oh, that's very easy! Of all the finance professors we asked, you were the closest."
What a great day Pi Day is, especially this one. The weather was kind enough to provide a beautiful day, one suitable for t-shirts, allowing me to wear one of my pi shirts (I chose the blue one, with the pi made of 4,000+ digits, a gift from Lilly). In addition to it being gorgeous outside, I also got to enjoy Half-Priced Burger Wednesday. March 14th TOTALLY trumps February 14th. We just should move Valentine's Day to Pi Day and admit it. Besides, as the saying goes "Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important."
A note to my readers: many of you are without names. It's hard to tell stories about you when you don't have an appropriate pseudonym. Though I would like to publicly congratulate my wonderful summer roommate (maybe I'll call her "First Tigress" to put the pressure on a certain someone...) on getting an absolutely amazing job. I knew she would get it, but it's nice to see her so happy now that she knows too. I wuv her, with an Earth W.
*** You can stop reading here ***
*** Below is just a stupid joke ***
My finance professor likes to tell jokes in class. When I write non-funny blogs, I think I might start putting in some of his jokes. If they're even worse than I think they are, let me know and I'll stop. Here's one he told about himself:
As a prestigious finance professor, he gets asked to participate in all sorts of things, and one thing he really wanted to do was be on the board of a new research institute. So when asked, he jumped at the chance, but had to interview with the Director, because several other prestigious finance professors wanted to do it too (and they wanted diversity). So in the interview, things were going well, and randomly, very quickly, the interviewer asked, "What's 3 times 7?" My professor said "22" and kept going with the interview. He realized it was a mistake soon after blurting out the wrong answer, but the interviewer didn't seem to mind and just kept taking notes as he listened to answers to more important questions.
My professor went home and told his wife he blew the interview by missing a stupid question and oh well. He didn't think much of it, but later got a call asking him to accept the position. He of course did. At the grand opening reception that was held for all the people involved, my professor saw the man he interviewed with and decided to ask him about the botched question. He asked, "Do you remember my interview?"
"Yes, of course."
"Do you remember asking me what 3 times 7 is?"
"Yes, we asked everybody that question."
"Do you remember my answer?"
"Yes, in fact, I wrote it down."
"Well...not to sound ungrateful, but how did I get this job?"
To which the Director replied, "Oh, that's very easy! Of all the finance professors we asked, you were the closest."
Thursday, March 08, 2007
My Ruined Lunch
I had a really funny story to post, but I think it might be a little too...disgusting, for some of my readers. Especially for my readers with class. So I'm going to only tell you ABOUT the story, instead of telling you the story. Oh, and don't read this while you're eating if you have an active imagination.
This story involves me trying to eat lunch while hearing DeluxX scream things from a nearby bathroom through the--thankfully--closed door. It involves him screaming things like:
-"Holy crap; it exploded! I can't believe it exploded!"
-"Mom, how much did you like the wallpaper in here?"
-"Does anyone mind if I ruin some towels?"
-"AHHH! MY LEG!"
-"I can't figure out how to work this thing!"
-"It's so hot in here! I'm going to pass out!" "You realize there's a fan in there, right?" "Wait what?"
-"I give up. I'm going upstairs. Um...nobody go in here while I'm gone."
I don't even want to know what he was doing.
And I only got halfway through my lunch.
This story involves me trying to eat lunch while hearing DeluxX scream things from a nearby bathroom through the--thankfully--closed door. It involves him screaming things like:
-"Holy crap; it exploded! I can't believe it exploded!"
-"Mom, how much did you like the wallpaper in here?"
-"Does anyone mind if I ruin some towels?"
-"AHHH! MY LEG!"
-"I can't figure out how to work this thing!"
-"It's so hot in here! I'm going to pass out!" "You realize there's a fan in there, right?" "Wait what?"
-"I give up. I'm going upstairs. Um...nobody go in here while I'm gone."
I don't even want to know what he was doing.
And I only got halfway through my lunch.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
My Purim
So, Happy Purim to the Jews out there. And to the rest of you...hamantaschen are WAY better than Christmas cookies.
This Purim was especially hilarious for me, as not only did one Rabbi cross dress while the other played the villain Haman by wearing nothing but jeans and a Terrell Owens jersey for a costume, but the megillah reading was a warm-up act for the real comedy: Lewis Black, who did mostly new material and seemed surprisingly pleased to be playing a synagogue for the first time in his career. I was especially happy with the Jew-specific humor. I was expecting him to say a few words about being there, but to do synagogue and Purim jokes? That was special. I also enjoyed his ability to be a little more frank than usual when mocking other religions (and using the first person plural, as he himself was "born and raised Jewish"). My favorite was his usual bit about how Christmas is totally out of control and people start shopping when the season begins around July 5th. But then he went the Jewish route and said "And we look at these stupid assholes trying to get all their shopping done BEFORE Christmas, and all we can say is 'You guys realize this shit is all 40% off the day after Christmas, right?' If you're smart you'll just put a box under the tree with a note in it that says you'll get a toaster in a month."
Kudos to DeluxX for getting us prime seats front and center 6 rows back.
Also, raspberry hamantaschen with chocolate chips are officially the best holiday cookie in any religion. Between Princess Lolly and my mother, I think I've gained 5 pounds on them this week.
This Purim was especially hilarious for me, as not only did one Rabbi cross dress while the other played the villain Haman by wearing nothing but jeans and a Terrell Owens jersey for a costume, but the megillah reading was a warm-up act for the real comedy: Lewis Black, who did mostly new material and seemed surprisingly pleased to be playing a synagogue for the first time in his career. I was especially happy with the Jew-specific humor. I was expecting him to say a few words about being there, but to do synagogue and Purim jokes? That was special. I also enjoyed his ability to be a little more frank than usual when mocking other religions (and using the first person plural, as he himself was "born and raised Jewish"). My favorite was his usual bit about how Christmas is totally out of control and people start shopping when the season begins around July 5th. But then he went the Jewish route and said "And we look at these stupid assholes trying to get all their shopping done BEFORE Christmas, and all we can say is 'You guys realize this shit is all 40% off the day after Christmas, right?' If you're smart you'll just put a box under the tree with a note in it that says you'll get a toaster in a month."
Kudos to DeluxX for getting us prime seats front and center 6 rows back.
Also, raspberry hamantaschen with chocolate chips are officially the best holiday cookie in any religion. Between Princess Lolly and my mother, I think I've gained 5 pounds on them this week.
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