My Cash

I just read a stupid article about good and bad places to hide massive amounts of cash you have lying around the house. Bad is in a purse or under the mattress. Good is in a fake electrical outlet or a tennis ball you've cut open, put money into, resealed, and stuck in a can with 2 other tennis balls. Seemingly good, but bad because of movies and the number of websites recommending it, is a secret hiding place in a toilet tank.

My problem with this isn't that it's obvious, but it's also wrong. You know what the best place to hide lots of excess cash is? A BANK. Or a money market fund that only invests in US Treasury securities, or another money market fund participating in the fed's money market insurance program. Even if you're worried about your bank, your deposits are insured by the federal government up to $250,000 right now. Anyone who for some reason feels the need to hide MORE cash than that, can just get a bank account at another bank, and stash another $250,000 there! It's not that complicated! Also, you know what you usually get with all the options I just mentioned (you know, besides massively better security)? INTEREST.

That's right, people will pay you for your deposits (kind of like, you know, a LOAN to a bank or the federal government, guaranteed by the best credit on Earth). Now, I'm not an expert in banking, but to the guy who's hiding massive amounts of cash in a tennis ball or toilet tank, I can confidently say that there are people who will pay you for the privilege of keeping your money SAFER than you ever could at home.

And, once again, to all you fearful, blog-surfing, cash-hoarding, burgeoning economics students: the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT will personally guarantee the safety of the money you deposit or "loan" in all of the cases I mentioned above. And yes, they're a better bet than a tennis ball.