My Completely Unoriginal Post

So I'm shamelessly copying this from a website that's essentially Confessions of a Former Blockbuster Employee, though the name isn't as imaginative or as cliched. (Here's a link)

#7 particularly caught my eye, and I wanted to share it with my readers and invite comments. If anyone is willing to TEST this, I REALLY want to see how it turns out.

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"Theft Is Bad"
Like many other corporate chains (Target and Wal-mart come to mind), Blockbuster must appear to despise shoplifting in all its shapes and forms, whilst doing pretty much nothing to stop it.

If you stuff eighteen DVDs, a Grand Theft Auto strategy guide, and a box of Red Vines into a backpack and walk out, congratulations – you’ve just committed the perfect crime. Even if the metal detector by the door goes off on your way out, you’re fine. Even if the security camera catches your face, you’re fine. Even if DVDs are literally poking out of your dungarees at the feet and waist, and even if every step you make is punctuated by the loud, repeated clapping of plastic case against plastic case, and even if an employee personally comes up to you and asks to see all the items you are carrying, once you leave the store you’ll still spend the rest of your arrest-free night watching your stolen copy of Red Dawn.

Blockbuster employees are trained not to stop, accuse, or pursue criminals, no matter what. This is partially for legal reasons (if a Blockbuster employee accuses a thief of stealing as per company policy and the thief shoots him, Blockbuster can be held accountable), but partially because Blockbuster doesn’t want to waste its time getting in battles with every two-bit pickpocket in the US. In the same way that videogame companies tend not to crack down on pirates, so too does Blockbuster ignore theft. Literally the only situation in which a Blockbuster employee can take any action against a thief is if the thief confesses to attempting to steal something. The BB theft response system quite literally punishes honesty – if someone admits to having stolen something, the employee is to immediately call the police and wait with the thief until their arrival, at which point said thief will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Yeah, that’ll fucking teach him to fess up and apologize.
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Please somebody try this and let me know how it goes.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME OR AT YOUR LOCAL BLOCKBUSTER. YOU'RE READING "NOBODY DOES IT LIKE MOLTEN BORON," THE BLOG THAT DOES NOT CONDONE THE COOL CRIME OF ROBBERY.