Friday, June 15, 2007

My End of the World

So apparently I missed BLITEOTW Day, or Blog Like It's The End Of The World Day, which was June 13th.

Now, it actually WILL be the end of the world for Office Depot if I don't get my desk, the absence of which is the main contributing factor to my lack of blogging. Things have been busy, and I've been working from my laptop since said desk, which I ordered on May 25th, still hasn't arrived. The order status says "delivered" but as I found out today, that apparently means they delivered it to UPS, who will deliver it to me (and I don't have a tracking number for it anymore, since it's out of Office Depot's hands).

I'm not really sure how one would go about blogging like it's the end of the world, but the BLITEOTWD organizers have helped bloggers out a little by imposing the "Zombie" theme. So as I look out my fictional window, I'm seeing humanity devoured by brain eating zombies. Fantastic. They totally deserve it. Especially those people who were responsible for getting me my desk on time (in the 1-10 day delivery window suggested by the company). They'll be the first up against the wall when the Zombie revolution comes, because not only are they jerks, but their brains should be plump and fertile, with clearly untouched and unused virgin gray matter ripe for the Zombie plucking.

In the midst of a global Zombie uprising, I think I'd buy oil stocks. You might think that I'd be shorting oil stocks, since people would be afraid to go out, but that would only last a month or two and you KNOW the oil companies would use the Zombie scare as a reason to hike prices for at least a year. So if humanity came out of the Zombie uprising OK, then I'd be rich. And if we didn't, well, my portfolio wouldn't be worth much anyway. In fact, the entire economy would probably collapse as people started trading hundreds of thousands of pork bellies for a single pork brain. It'd be like a bank run...but with brains instead of currency.

Speaking of bank runs, I had a great time in Boston this weekend with Cynara's family. How does that relate to bank runs? Cynara's father's favorite movie is "It's A Wonderful Life," which apparently has a bank run in it as a crucial plot device. I've never seen it, but I expect that will change.

Work starts Monday. I may have funny stories from there, but hopefully I won't have anything worthy of a Dilbert strip again.

2 comments:

Lizzie said...

Wait, is that why my friend was blogging about zombies? No, actually I think that was a total coincidence...

And I love your reasoning for buying oil stocks in the wake of a zombie scare.

I too start work on Monday. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Enjoy!
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2002/01/10deathstar.html