Usually the #1 theme for Halloween costumes downtown is "slut." Not true this year. This year, the #1 theme for Halloween costumes was "Philadelphia Phillies." Way to go, Phillies; that's two miracles in one week. If you guys can make the stock market go up, you'd have a trifecta.

If any of you former Dungeons and Dragons players would like to better understand the election through a short vignette in which the major players are all playing D&D, I present this script by a blogger who unwittingly became an overnight internet sensation among huge dorks.

Courtesy of Sergeant Trouser.

So how about that local sports team?

It was nice being able to scream as loud as I wanted while walking down the streets last night. I can't do that anymore. I also liked being able to high-five anyone I wanted, whenever I wanted, and have them be perfectly OK with that (hugs too, though under ever so slightly more limited circumstances). Sports bring people together.

Also, DeluxX's Facebook account got hacked by some woman named Patricia who has taken over his page for some reason. That said, the history is still up with only minor editing. I especially like this status message from October 10th: "Patricia has the apt to himself this weekend and can finally watch gay porn without all those judgemental eyes." I wonder which one of them spelled judgmental wrong.

My Championship

Words fail me.

The curse is broken (beating the next leading curse by 14 seasons).

I can't describe what this means for Philadelphia. I was just at City Hall, on South Broad Street, at the Ben Franklin Parkway, where group hugs are starting at 3 and growing into the thousands, if not tens of thousands. In a city ravaged by crime, hit with working-class job losses and budgetary nightmares, in a city which, after 100 consecutive losing major sports seasons, has come to expect losses, in the City of Brotherly Love in which racial and socioeconomic tensions threaten to tear neighborhoods apart, in a city held together by threads, from Eagles fandom to inspired mayors, in a city that went from being the nation's political capitol to the world's industrial capitol, to a drifting former flagship from a different time looking for its place in the fabric of urban America, in a city both simultaneously great and teetering on the brink, in this city are the World Series Champions, the best, the winners, the conquerers in a sport that has the distinction of being our national pastime.

Tonight I have a hundred thousand brothers, a hundred thousand sisters, with open arms all over the city. Tonight will see hundreds of thousands of Philadelphians connecting to others in their neighborhoods, hugging strangers, and celebrating that which we have in common instead of fearing our differences. Tonight we all have unconditional acceptance and open invitations. Tonight has the power to bestow renewed feelings of camraderie, a renewed sense of civic pride, and renewed brotherly love.

And tomorrow we'll wake up in a better Philadelphia, one which had the experience of coming together for a common cause, however manufactured by man; cheering on our representatives, the Philadelphia Phillies; and celebrating together, as World Champions.

My Harrisburg Halloween?

So apparently in Harrisburg they do Halloween on the Thursday before actual Halloween. All the kids are going trick-or-treating on Thursday, the 30th. This just seems wrong. I don't mean to be a snob, but I think if I tried just a little, I could become personally offended by this quaint central Pennsylvanian custom. My question is: if you're going to standardize it to a day, why not standardize it on a non-school night?

Someone told me the rationale is that on Fridays, Saturdays, and Halloween, there are too many drunks out. I think anyone spending more than a few days in Harrisburg can debunk that. It's not exactly a party town. You need a car to get anywhere except in the immediate downtown area, and that area is dead at night. You don't exactly have drunken masses out walking, or rather, stumbling, the streets at night. I wonder how this got started, and why it persists. Luckily for me, I'll be in Philly for MY holiday tradition of eating authentic Szechuan cuisine with at least one of my families.

"I'm a hockey mom...soon to be an illegitimate hockey grandmom." -Lisa Ann, portrayer of "Sarah Paylin" in the new hit porno movie "Who's Nailin' Paylin."

The journalist/blogger in me is urging me to provide some links and more information...but I think I'd rather not.

That said, from what I gather, in filming this movie, Ms. Ann accumulated more experience than the real Vice Presidential nominee in foreign relations (wait for it...).

Finally, I think it's great that she not only studied the real Sarah Palin in preparing for her role, but also Tina Fey to learn how to excellently impersonate Mrs. Palin.

My Mad Cow Test

The Bush White House has taken a lot of heat, among other things, for supporting and enforcing (and perhaps making) a decision to NOT ALLOW ranchers to test their cattle for mad cow disease. I was among the critics, but tonight, for some reason, I rethought my position. It took me a while, mostly because I was presented with lots of arguments against the decision and had to come up with my own in favor of it. On top of that, I'm naturally suspicious of the most evil White House administration of my life; they have a well-earned reputation for incompetence; and it seems like such a bad idea.

Why not allow ranchers to test their cattle? For starters, it's a free country. You shouldn't need a reason NOT to ban something; you should need a very good reason TO ban something. Especially if you're a Republican. Secondly, it only promotes public health and confidence in our beef. If there's nothing to fear, why ban the tests? Finally, it's hurting us economically! Some countries won't accept imports unless we increase our testing, and if the government won't do it, why not let ranchers do so for a profit? Why not let them be responsible businessmen and grow our nation's economy?

I think I've figured out the logic, the reason for the ban. It seems so un-American, so anti-business, so anti-public that it's hard to believe Americans support it, much less a staunchly conservative Republican administration. But then something Lord Henry told me recently helped me connect the dots. He said, cynically, that a true conservative believes that humans are inferior creatures. An idealistic liberal believes in the best of humanity, while the very conservative stewards seek to limit the damage we can cause by the worst within us. And then it hit me.

Our leaders don't want to stand in our way of being responsible, upstanding businessmen. But they do have a valid concern that ranchers are NOT responsible, competent scientists, publicists, or macroeconomic thinkers. And they'd have to be to be giving mad cow tests. Think what would happen with one false positive. Or even a "presumptive positive" (which means "maybe, it'll take a few days to know for sure"). What if one rancher screws up the test, or uses a cheap testing kit, or a testing kit actually fails (even with a low false positive rate, if everyone's testing, we'll wind up with a few)? Mass hysteria. Widespread panic. Beef pulled off the shelves. Suspicions of a coverup. An entire generation of ranchers lose their livelihood. Restaurants shut down all across America. McDonald's makes Morgan Stanley look like a bulwark of stability. A low probability event crushes the beef market, and we see an entire industry disappear in a way that would make even one of today's bankers go white. A national food crisis, fueling a global food crisis, has us thinking of the 2008 floods and inflation and shortages and credit crunch as the "good old days."

It's a policy that thwarts modest improvements to stave off, to quote Tim Curry as King Arthur, "a total bloody disaster."

Rick Blaine and I got to see Henry Kissinger and Robert Rubin talk tonight. I thought it wasn't fair the focus was on foreign policy without much about economics, but both former Secretaries were quite insightful (Kissinger a little more so given the field of discussion). I thought it admirable that with an election coming up, both men emphasized the need for nuance and the complexity of situations. There were no 10-word-answers, no campaign slogans, no X-point plans. There was an honest and frank discussion about the increasingly interconnected nature of the world, and the inability to isolate global problems into silos the way we do in campaigns. They both stressed our need for engagement, investment, and a full-picture view of global issues. Their conversation covered the necessity and importance of diplomacy, the impact investment in our nation (and lack thereof) could have, America's "moral authority," trade policy, and comprehensive approaches for everything from education (domestic and abroad) to foreign aid and providing proper incentives for other countries without letting innocents suffer. Sometimes they debated, other times they clarified and elaborated on each others' points. It was refreshing to see such an intellectual and high level policy discussion where the merits of an argument outweighed politics. I really admire both public servants more now than I did before the evening began.

I was also excited to see Mayor Michael Nutter and Governor Ed Rendell speak before and after the keynote 2-person panel. Mayor Nutter spoke about cities' struggles through the current economic crisis, while Rendell passionately made the case for investment in infrastructure and education (both for early childhood and secondary education in math and science).

All in all, a very inspiring and intellectually stimulating night, and even worth missing the start of the Phillies' first World Series game in 15 years. Here's hoping this one ends differently. It would be nice if the first sports team in North America to 10,000 losses would also be the one to snap Philadelphia's streak of 100 consecutive professional sports seasons without a major championship.

I'm back, and jetlagged. In the absence of my ability to be original and creative, I'm posting a link to a really short, beautiful online game which will take my place for the moment when it comes to making you think. I know it made me think when I first encountered it. I give it nine thumbs up.

Growcube.